This is the Daily Reader that complements any/each of the three other handbooks in Vince’s addiction collection. The alternative title ‘As Vince Sees It’ was coined in March 2022 after many readers with a sense of humour – why not? – drew a parallel with the AA book ‘As Bill Sees It’. As Vince Sees It is the title of the new Kindle ebook version.
Everyone’s an Addict remains the title on the paperback version. But both versions are the same book, addressing the broad spectrum of addictions to which addicts are variously prone. It is aimed at anyone. The hypothesis is that we’re all addicts. If not to the major league isms, alcohol, drugs, food, gambling and sex; or the second division clutter, hoarding, shopping, video games and work; then to the minor league smoking, sudoku, TV shows and the like – something. Addiction robs us of time that would better be spent in improving our own lives and, as a byproduct, other people’s. Even those who think they are not addicted but would like to improve themselves, can benefit, too.
Everyones an Addict
As Vince
Sees It
Or...
Everyone’s An Addict has a secular approach – supporting freedom of religious belief, or none, for all. And, inline with the UN’s ideas, anyone should be able to change their beliefs at any time. So it is suggested that people who attend meetings primarily address their addictions and keep the meetings non-religious. There are plenty of opportunities to practice religion, atheism and agnosticism elsewhere. 12-step meetings are nominally non-religious, so they are aimed at everyone, too.
There is a choice of steps in this book, either the traditional ones or a set containing some alternatives with god taken out. Not everyone addresses addiction through a twelve step meeting, though, and those that choose an alternative route will find Everyone’s an Addict equally helpful to them, whether they attend a clinic or choose another method. Indeed, many modern abstainers dispense with the 12 steps in their program altogether. But there’s no getting away from the fact that abstention is, in itself, the equivalent of the traditional Step One. That’s why it is said that Step One is the only step which needs to be applied 100%.
Everyone’s an Addict also goes into some detail on the matter of personal inventory which is the subject of Step Four. (Pp92-177 & 122-131.)
This book takes the format of an inspirational comment for each day of the year. Therefore the appropriately numbered Step, Tradition and Concept from AA is covered month-by-month. Other 12 step programs like NA, OA, GA, SA and others are given coverage, too. But it is much more than just 366 inspirational entries. There is a bucketful of practical tips for treating addiction.
Bad Behavers
If you don’t feel your behavior is obsessive or addictive, if you are interested in this book to make a general improvement in your behavior, ask yourself a similar question to the one above. Have you behaved badly towards someone when you had not intended to, or perhaps your behavior was over the top? Do you ratchet up an argumentative situation rather than try to take the heat out of it or walk away? Are you determined to have your way for the sake of it when there are many suitable ways to go? Are you controlling of other people or a compulsive helper?
Results of these 12-step programs include: the relief of identifying yourself as an addict or someone with problem behavior after years of denial; the pride of being honest with yourself and the beginning of building your self-esteem; knowing yourself better and accentuating the positives. Then there is further self-improvement in the calming influence of meditation. Finally there is the task of helping other addicts and people at large because the programs are bridges to normal living.
Benefits of 12 step programs
There is a choice of steps in this book, either the traditional ones or a set containing some alternatives with god taken out. This stems from a secular approach to the 12 steps which embraces the idea of freedom of religion, or none. Strictly speaking, 12 step meetings are non-religious, so members’ religions or non-religion should be practiced elsewhere. Members need to concentrate in the meeting on treating their addictions.
12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable. (Adaptation of original version.)
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Big Book traditional version.) OR: Came to believe we couldn’t solve the problem on our own, but that our program and the group power of people in it could restore us to sanity. (A secular alternative version.)
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of god as we understood him. (Big Book traditional.) OR: We each nominated greater powers to remind us there are things bigger than ourselves and not to play god – then we let go of self-will. (A secular alternative.)
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (Original version.)
5. Admitted to god, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (Big Book traditional.) OR: Admitted without reservation to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (A secular alternative.)
6. Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character. & 7. Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. (Big Book traditional versions.) OR: 6) Every few months made a shortlist of our defects most in need of attention. 7) Made it a project to minimize one or more of our worse faults and improve our behavior. (Secular alternative versions.)
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (Original version.)
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (Original version.)
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (Original version.)
11. Sought through meditation and prayer to improve our conscious contact with god as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. (Big Book traditional.) OR: Sought through meditation and prayer to improve our spiritual awareness and understanding of the way of life entailed in this program and to discover the power to carry it out. (A secular alternative.)
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts of our type, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Adaptation of the original.)
Here follows a list of addictions and 12 step fellowships — including those that support families & friends of addicts — but excluding the big five addictions of people with alcoholism, or addicted to drugs, food, gambling, and sex. These are covered under the article headed Addicted. Meanwhile,
Clutterers Anonymous: at clutterersanonymous.org and on page 147.
Codependency: Co-dependents Anonymous at coda.org (CoDA) is for people who are over-caring and over-helpful to the extent that they have no life of their own, and they may be making things worse for the person they care for by enabling an addiction. See pages 296-298.
Drugs, specific: Cocaine at ca.org; Crystal Meth at crystalmeth.org; Marijuana at marijuana-anonymous.org; and Pills Anonymous at pillsanonymous.org. This last named is for people who seek recovery from prescription drug addiction. See page 325.
Games: the two main 12-step groups for video game addiction are On-Line Gamers Anonymous (OLGA) at olganon.org and Computer Game Addicts Anonymous at cgaa.info. See pages 299 & 301.
Internet & Technology: could be the next big thing. See page 300.
Mental illness. Emotions: emotionsanonymous.org is for recovery from emotional and mental illness. See page 331. And Schizophrenic Anonymous at schizophrenia.com apparently runs a six-step program.
Minor addictions: See pages 27 & 64.
Money: There isn’t a 12-step group for addiction to money because where’s the harm? Yet miser would seem to be the root of misery. p270.
Over-exercising. If you have an over-exercising problem, you could find help from Exercise Addicts Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous or Recoveries Anonymous. Other 12-step fellowships and, indeed, other rehabs and clinics may offer treatment, too. See pages 86 & 207-8.
Over-work: Workaholics at workaholics-anonymous.org see page 209.
Small time users: See pages 27 & 64.
Smoking: Nicotine Anonymous (NicA) at nicotine-anonymous.org. My own experience is on pages 27 & 178.
Spending: Debtors Anonymous at debtorsanonymous.org is the main 12-step fellowship here. Others are Spenders Anonymous at spenders.org and Underearners at underearnersanonymous.org
See pages 26, 262 & 269.
Thief of time, like Sudoku: No 12-step solution, but see page 301.
Violence: Violence Anonymous at violenceanonymous.org is on p331. Parents Anonymous (PA) parentsanonymous.org is for parents who have abused children, but is not 12-step-based. It has weekly meetings for welfare professionals and parents, when the kids attend youth groups.
Multiple: Some fellowships like All Addictions Anonymous (AAA) at alladdictionsanonymous.org run meetings for people who can’t get to a meeting covering their own addiction, or for a group of different types of addict in a rehab clinic, or for an addict with multiple addictions, or the addict for whom a specific 12-step program has yet to be formed, such as internet & technology. Another group is called All Addicts Anonymous at alladdictsanonymous.org. See pp 3, 20, 25, 63 and 263.
Family & friends
(ACoA) Adult Children of Alcoholics: adultchildren.org; Al-Anon: al-anon.org; for family & friends of alcoholics. Pages 162 & 193.
Co-Anon: co-anon.org for family & friends of cocaine addicts.
(COSA) cosa-recovery.org linked to SAA; COSLAA contactable via SLAA; S-Anon, sanon.org linked to SA; and SRA-ANON via SRA.
Emotions Anonymous (EA): emotionsanonymous.org is for recovery from any kind of emotional difficulty. Neuroticos Anonymous (N/A): neuroticosanonimos.us is for Spanish-speaking family & friends who are angry at alcoholics. See page 331. Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) is at siawso.org. Women of Wisdom: womenofwisdom.org is for victims of domestic violence.
GAM-ANON & GAM-A-TEEN: gam-anon.org for family & friends of gamblers. Nar-Anon: nar-anon.org for family & friends of drug addicts.
Family & friends can attend an open meeting of the addict’s fellowship for an idea of what goes on. There is a generic group called Families Anonymous at familiesanonymous.org or they could attend a different fellowship’s linked group like Co-Anon or Al-Anon. The website for Marijuana Anonymous has a family & friends section that might apply to most addictions. Click on the yellow ‘loved ones’ leaflet.
Which addict am I?
still in Denial?
For someone pondering which addict am I or — if they are still in denial — whether they are an addict at all, here is another extract:
The Addiction Experiment
Anyone can prove they are not an addict and don’t need a program by controlling themselves. With drink, for example, by taking only a few drinks on each occasion – always stopping at or before a prescribed number, say three. Otherwise, try Step 1 once more.
A word of warning about this business of trying to prove whether you’re an alcoholic by attempting controlled drinking. Don’t use it as an excuse for a relapse. I’ve known newcomers who grab on to this idea and you never see them again. We know, really, that you’re going to fail in this experiment but some prospects have to find out for themselves. Just don’t trigger many more years of using in the process.
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If you might be addicted to gambling, try to visit a bookies and just have one bet. Or for overeating, try to stay off sugar for a week.
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If your problem is bad behavior, see if you can immediately disengage politely and walk away the next time you get wound up.
We can’t do anything about the first thought that comes into our heads, but this program will offer you the chance to construct your own process to go through so that you can deal with cravings and uncontrolled thoughts when they arise.
Multiple addictions
Multiple addictions are another problem. The trick here is to identify the prime addiction and treat the others as ‘defects of character’ to be addressed in the self-improvement part of the program in steps four & five; six & seven; and step 10.
If you are lucky you will intuitively know what your prime addiction is. But go to more than one type of meeting if you have multiple serious addictions like drinking and heroin. You should give up both of them if they are inter-dependent. This will be a full-time job.
However, lesser addictions like smoking nicotine can be left until later, unless it is your prime addiction. Drinking was my prime addiction. I smoked more and ate more biscuits in the early stages of abstention from alcohol. These lesser addictions weren’t landing me in trouble.
Buy the Book
Everyone’s An Addict is the latest in a series of self help books by Vince Hawkins. It is available in the US from Amazon.com and in Europe from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.de, Amazon.es, Amazon.fr and Amazon.it
It will also be available via additional Amazon sites such as Australia amazon.com.au, Austria amazon.at, Brazil amazon.com.br, Canada amazon.ca, China joyo.com, India amazon.in, Japan amazon.co.jp and Mexico amazon.com.mx
Everyone’s an Addict by Vince Hawkins is not just a daily inspiration with 366 entries, one for each day of the year, but also a detailed compendium of practical tips on how to tackle any 12 step program. It aims to help anyone tackle addiction or, if you don’t believe you’re an addict, then bad behavior. this is one of a selection of self help books by Vince Hawkins.
Testimonial
"Loved the daily reader format. Loved the secular approach - defined as UN Human Rights slant on beliefs: people are entitled to any religious belief or none and to change their belief whenever they please. This leaves readers to concentrate on treating their addiction with or without god. Everyone's an Addict serves as a secular replacement for Alcoholics Anonymous, the AA Big Book. The key, apparently, is abstention. Religion is a help to some, but not a requirement. This book has changed my life and improved me as a person: now I can help others."
- Jolly R.